10 Things I Learned from Motherhood

motherhood quote from simpleasthatblog.com

In celebration of mother’s day, I tried to list down things I’ve learned in a year of being a new mom and was able to come up with ten points. I think you would all agree that, being a mom was by far the most challenging, draining and nerve wracking thing that ever happened to you. But it is also the most fulfilling, meaningful and the happiest, it will stretch you to the best person you didn’t think you can be and will push you out of your comfort zone.  So to you new mom like me and to all the moms who are caught up with the craziness of motherhood, this list is for you.

1.       You do not have to do everything by yourself

-          Dear Super Mom, if help is being offered, take it. It was there because you need it, and don’t take it as a sign of weakness, it’s called being smart. When you do accept help, trust the help and not control every minute detail. Trust me, it’s not easy to let go, the first part was hardest for me but I realized that the extra energy and time I have should be put to more important things.

2.       You cannot control everything

-          As much as you want to have a say and be hands-on on everything, there is only one you. In connection with the first item, instead of achieving of controlling everything, focus on what’s important, that is spending time with your baby and husband and family.

3.       Taking a step back is not a failure

-          As a first time mom, juggling my career, childcare and housekeeping was my biggest struggle. I came to accept that I need to re-prioritize, that is childcare, housekeeping and career. Yes, I needed to take a step back at my career, but I did not quit. I kind of lay low from my competitiveness; fortunately, I have met all the expectations they set for me at work but nothing extra special. It’s frustrating at first because I’m naturally competitive, but accepting this is the only option to move forward smoothly. Plus, I get to have more time writing instead of stressing.

4.       You are the best childcare your baby can have.

-          So stop comparing yourself to your nanny. I know it’s easier said than done, trust me, I’m still managing my emotions when it comes to this. But my son has really helped and is continuously helping me to get over this. He really showed to me and made me feel that I’m his number one and that I’m his mother. It would also help if you’ll have an open and clear communication with your nanny.

5.       Forgive yourself and your husband

-          As with everything, committing mistake is part of the learning process. As new parents, my husband and I have little to no experience in raising a child, so we always figure out things as we go along. Luckily, Niklaus has always been a happy baby! Remember, you and your husband are partners, so instead of fighting over the mistakes you made, help each other on how you can avoid and improve. This is probably on the top of things I need to improve on, I love you husband!

6.         Listen to your child

-            This is one of the most important things I’ve learned. I know babies cannot talk, but they sure have ways to deliver their message, on what they need and what they want. You just have to listen and pay attention to their actions. The crying would get into you at some point, but always remember that this is your son’s way to communicate, so instead of getting annoyed by the crying, I focus on trying to figure out what he need.

7.       You need to unlearn to learn

-          This skill has been most useful for me as a first time mom. Unlike my husband, I have gained a few childcare skills taking care of my younger cousins, and nephews. I have used some of these skills but note that every child has its unique needs. So instead of pushing on things you know work from before, again, follow your child, he knows best what he needs and wants.

8.         It’s okay to not be okay

-          With the social media trends on relationship goals, mom goals and whatever life goals there are nowadays, we tend to put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to be something that looks good on social media. Dear Super Mom, it’s okay to not be okay, it’s okay to cry your heart out, don’t mind those judgmental eyes lurking around when you walk in the park or in the halls of the mall, what’s important are those sparkly little eyes of your little human. Remember, even superheroes bleed and fall back when needed, take some time for yourself; your child will thank you for it.

9.       Build your trusted army

-          We all know that raising a child takes a village, so little by little, make sure to build your trusted and reliable army. I am still on the recruitment stage, lol. So I don’t have a lot of things to say on how you can build one, any advice?

10.   Live in the moment

-          I know this last item is probably the hardest because of the tons of things we mom needs to do in keeping our house and pursuing our careers, but, this is also the most important and the best learning I have learned in motherhood. With the lightning speed growth and development of our son, I have learned to stop on the chores and be with my son. The mess and mountain of laundries would always be there but the milestone of my son can happen in the blink of an eye.